So, your appointment is booked, you’re putting together outfits and shopping for lingerie online… aaannnd then doubt starts creeping in. Are you pretty enough? Are your proportions right for boudoir? Are you setting yourself up for disappointment, or worse – humiliation? Rest assured, nearly everyone feels this to some degree. Listen to me: You are perfect for this! You are not going to be disappointed. And, as God is my witness, you will feel the exact OPPOSITE of humiliation. Not only are you going to have a great time, but you are also going to feel beautiful, energized, and EMPOWERED. You’re going to be SO glad you went through with it! Hear me one more time: As you are, today, you are so perfectly perfect for this, and I can’t wait to show you the pictures we create together!

Pre-session worries are a regular and normal part of this process. This feeling even has a technical name: Anticipatory Anxiety. If you need some extra help in overcoming it, here are a few practical tips:

Breathe Deeply

There are lots of different breathing exercises that you can do to reduce your anxiety. The simplest (and for me the most effective), is this: Take long, slow breaths in through your nose, then let them out slowly through your mouth. Even just one breath like this is great, but try it for at least a full minute.

Put on Your Outfits

One really effective way to combat anxiety about your upcoming boudoir shoot is to put on some of the lingerie you’ll be bringing to the shoot. Throw on some bold lip color and heavy eyeliner and make sexy faces to yourself in the mirror. Practice flirty looks and coy poses. Feel your skin and your curves. You are a beautiful, sensual soul and together we’re going to capture that so you can be reminded of it as often as you need to be.

Visualize

Another great thing is to basically daydream about how great your session is going to go. None of my sessions are uncomfortable or traumatizing. The nervousness or embarrassment that some people feel in the beginning disappears so quickly, you’ll be amazed. Imagine that happening. You’re going to be so happy (and exhausted) at the end of your shoot – so visualize that today.

Stop Negative Self-talk

Our brains are great at finding fault with ourselves. When you let her loose, that inner critic will constantly tear you down, magnifying faults and diminishing your value. Refuse to listen. Take those thoughts captive. If it helps, give your inner critic a name and a face and then imagine duct taping her mouth shut. You might also try an old technique of “thought-stopping,” where you keep a rubber band on your wrist and when negative self-talk starts, you snap that rubber band against your wrist. I personally don’t like doing this one – as Daffy Duck used to say, “I don’t like pain – it hurts me.”

Affirm Yourself

The opposite of hearing negative self-talk is to speak positive affirmations. Repeating these phrases to yourself has a soothing effect, it will calm you down and even help change your thinking about yourself. Affirmations can be as simple as closing your eyes and saying quietly, “I am enough.” You’ll be amazed at what a positive effect repeating a phrase like that can have. Try others like, “I’ve got this,” “I’m going to rock this,” “This is going to be amazing,” and “I am so ready to do this.”

Try PMR

I learned this one as a child, and it’s amazing! Progressive Muscle Relaxation (PMR) works for stress, insomnia, and anxiety. Start with your toes and clench them tight for as long as it takes you to slowly take in a full breath. Then exhale while you quickly release your toes. Repeat this with each set of muscles on up your body – feet & shins, then calves, then thighs, etc. By the time you’re scrunching up your face, your body is ready to melt. It’s such a great stress reliever.

Distract Yourself

One of my mom’s favorite expressions to me was, “Just don’t think about it.” She was of course joking, but there are definitely benefits to be found in focusing your attention elsewhere. Try making a to-do list, or forcing yourself to do a 10-20 minute task that you’ve been avoiding.

You are unique and strong. You are beautiful and amazing. I’m going to help you see all this. Even better, you’re going to have photographic evidence to forever remind you of these truths. I can’t wait, and I hope you can’t either!   — Ron